love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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