ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
