i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
