shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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