I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
