Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize