Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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