I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
