you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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