get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
only you would photoshop your dick
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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