Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize