How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Randomize
