so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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