So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
