Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
