So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
