So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
