yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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