Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
