That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
