Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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