I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i have two assholes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
