Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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