Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
