he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
