Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
