So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize