so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
