Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
