They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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