what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
