Your dad touched me again.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize