windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
