Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
