thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
