I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
