Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize