guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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