I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Say something about gay babies.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
