I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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