i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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