Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize