Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
