He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
