You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
