If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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