I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
