Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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