.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize