Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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