We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
This house was built for laser tag.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Someone came in the potted fern
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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