The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am naked and annoyed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
