Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
