Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
