A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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