GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Found the puke drawer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
