She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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