i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm always down for nudity.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
