I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
