I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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