question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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