Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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