I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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