Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize