Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
