I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
