I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize