Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
