she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
